Perhaps this time my subscription may be really up! That is might not now be just be most feasible time to relent and release some of those golden and glorious retirement goals! I’m aleady past 90 and still admire a discretely shaped female leg and with also accompanying willowy somewhat bosomy above the waistline enhancements! Of course, there can also also be marvelous additions in this glorious technologic era that can now augment /or supplement the fantasy of sexual desire again. To realize in some form of even quasi reality the fruition of sexual lust. After all, there still lingers in the air the hopeful but grim joke of the old codger badgering the practical madam of her house of pleasure for a suitable partner in pleasure; her sneering reply of his obvious decrepitude for her tempting wares; “Look at you, you already had it already--- Plenty of times.” And his happy response. “Oh yeah,?” very proudly. “How much do I owe”?
Time is always fleeting past. And even the possibility of the consummation of the sexual liason many times is sufficient enough of a transient triumph. Thus it was before whatever successful consummation did occur and however it did register on the positive side of one’s ego or libido register. There could be much wistful thinking, as in the adolescent “wet dream” of prepubescent sex which is all delightfully and frustratingly the “hope that springs eternal”, but also the eternal burden of the guilt as the initial interest fades away and the true compatibility ultimately revealed does not mesh. And, perhaps, feelings of animosity toward the probably innocent partner may emerge! Undoubtedly this is one aspect of my reliance on “make haste slowly” in this splendid waiting residential place “for my last hurrah”. With good dining and many possibly interested widowed females as neighbors and companions, the long dormant old urges are still around. For, if my memory serves still serves, about 20 years ago I was still about six months into my first wife’s death. And my loneliness was like an enveloping, invisible shroud that made me almost furiously busy ----almost frantic---- to escape. Just to show outwardly that life still has its relatively normal aspects. Shopping, bridge, exercise, and the inadvertant unusual “we” still not gone from normal verbalisms.
And if memory can be still be trusted, danger signs subliminally raised for that old demon, sex, not too far away. That a dignified, over ninety year old duffer like myself could be so motivated! And ringing in the television backgound somewhat merrily are the trade names Viagra, Cialis, and even Levitra, all just waiting to enhance that just right ripe moment to consummate sex whenever the just right moment presents itself!
But history certainly does not repeat itself inevitably. How about ……”holding hands at midnight but too much in love to say goodnight?” And who knows what more positive personal events thereafter? And certainly not a boastful “one night stand”. Not a boastful Lothario or ravishing Casanova But the stability and constancy that matures two people in supporting roles that require needed strength when life is not so pleasant. And added strength when adversity strikes and a few more cuddles in bed is certainly a most affirming way to go!