Some Thoughts on the Impeachment

by Jim Ray

Dear Jonathan:

Well, it's been a surreal year. I just looked at the various Clinton views, and I almost found something missing, until I got to yours. You wrote:

The acts which most clearly qualify as "high crimes and misdeameanors" would be those which constitute a gross misuse of office, such as the acceptance of bribes in return for executive acts, similarly motivated violations of campaign finance laws, or the misuse of executive law enforcement staff to intimidate or harm political enemies as in the Nixon era.

Now, Jonathan knows that I am NOT for the present impeachment due to a number of things. For one, I like skewering presidents of either party (I am a Libertarian) and removal from office would leave me Gore (Bore!) who has far less humor-potential. Hell, blowjobs from young girls are probably one of the only things the President and I agree on, but I digress...

Far more importantly, I think the Republicans have gotten very suspiciously-lenient on the campaign-finance and China money stuff. I just read a book, "The Year of the Rat," about this, and I was outraged! The FEC (a most FECal agency, if you ask us Libertarians who are CONTINUALLY treated unfairly) has been reluctant to press campaign-finance charges despite OVERWHELMING evidence of clear violation of our laws. Now, I may not agree that these laws are all a good idea (I like disclosure & dislike "limits on spending" -- censorship) but if we're to have them, they should be enforced (failure evident) EVENHANDEDLY (failure AGAIN evident, see various cases involving my party, which the media conveniently ignores).

I expect to soon see calls for yet-more (and more complex) laws about campaigns, despite lack of enforcement of the present laws (hmmmm. Shades of more "gun control" law-advocacy deja-vu, eh?). These laws will help FECal bureaucrats by growing the FEC, and campaign-finance lawyers, who will be even fatter cats if they pass. If I'm against these laws, I'm said to be "against reform" rather than FOR enforcing the laws we already have on the books. And people wonder why I hate the media...

Combined with lack of enforcement (which brings to mind cocaine and Mena, Arkansas in its bipartisan aspects of criminality) I see a lapdog media spoonfeeding sex to an audience of idiots. I see my country getting sold out (and I'm assuming that treason DOES count as a "high crime," and not just a misdemeanor, even to tapdancing Democrats). I'm PISSED off at president Lippo, and I don't care how often he got his knob polished, what dresses he decorated that didn't get drycleaned, or anything else on the sordid subject (aside from tasteless jokes, which I like). I'd just like to see the media (for once!) do their jobs. Pretend it's Watergate (where ONE Fibbie-file landed a Republicrook in the slammer) instead of presdent Lippo, if you want, but go after his administration like they DESERVE. Craig Livingstone is NOT in jail, and hasn't been there yet. He's a crook. DO YOUR JOBS, "JOURNALISTS"!

That means comfort the afflicted (ME! You people should be asking for Jim Ray's opinion more often, obviously) and afflict the comfortable. ASK why judges like Paul Friedman are tossing out cases against Pauline Kanchanalak(sp?) despite overwhelming evidence of criminality! (Ask who appointed this judge, and I'll guaran-damn-tee-ya it was no Libertarian!) If _I_ have to do the media's job, I should be getting paid to do it. :( Individual judges, prosecutors, and FECal officials who decide to go easy on the criminality of all this need to see THEIR NAMES on the news, dammit.

Do your jobs! Find out about Republican acceptance of Chinese loot, and ask party officials if bipartisan criminality is the real reason they got so obsessed with blowjobs despite TREASON in the winds. Hell, if you can't find someone to ask the hard questions, hire me! I can be like "Stuttering John" on Howard Stern's radio show. You want ratings, right? Asking for truth could be at least as entertaining as continually dancing around the word "blowjob" without saying it.

Finally, Jonathan, thanks for the Spectacle, where I can get this off my chest. I feel better already.

Jim Ray, who lives in Florida, is a libertarian with a sense of humor.