Copyright © by Martin Siegel, 1998
I ADMIT I MISLED the American public, my devoted staff, the cabinet members, my party and the media; but misleading statements are not the same as lyingwhich, believe me, I never did to anyone. Legally, my zipper is closed. Look, everyone who spoke up for me was over twenty-one. Im a good salesman, OK!
We now have to go forward. Although Ken Starrs investigation has so far cost more than $40 million, compared to a jet or a tank thats bubble gum. If everyone kept their mouth shut to oral sex and more open to our world responsibilities, wed all be better off. Thats the honest truth!
See, the job I have is to lead ALL the public. Just in case you conveniently forgot, our heterogeneous population includes millions of voters who are liars, young women wholl pucker-up to anything to get ahead, an avaricious (and gutless) media, hypocritical and thieving politicians, and countless talk show vultures, all of whom would starve without meand Im not even including lawyers! Howdy Doodys Peanut Gallery is long gone. You can take my word on that, if nothing else!
MY PROBLEM, I guess, is that Im just a doormat for these segments of our national diversity to step on.