by Martin Siegel
Copyright © by Martin Siegel, 1998

Mr.V (with tie)

YOU MIGHT THINK that a million-dollar-a-year (plus) lawyer who wears $200 custom-made shirts imported from England would go more for caviar and champagne, right? Remember, however, that I don’t need to write legal briefs or argue in court; meaning I can pick and choose anything and everything I want. It’s called ‘good lawyering.’ Besides, baloney has its advantages. It’s soft, pink and a tasty morsel that goes well with a lot of things in a lot of different situations—attributes not to be ignored in Washington. Don’t forget, too, that there’s more to life than swinging a golf club with Slick, if you know what I mean.

“I suppose it’s well-known by now that I’m on several corporate boards; I lost track, but I think it’s ten altogether. Anyway, Revlon is one of them, and old Charlie (Revson) had a way with words: something like ‘In the factory we make cosmetics, in the store we sell hope.’

“With all due respect, allow me to frame my position thusly:”

When baloney needs some squeezing, I smile and do so try to make it pleasing.
Since big-shot friends depend on me, discretion’s the key for my BIG fee!

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